Thursday, November 22, 2012

Grace by Mary Oliver

I don’t want you to just sit down at the table. 
I don’t want you to just eat and be content. 
I want you to walk out into the fields 

Where the water is shining and the rice has risen.
I want you to stand there far from this white tablecloth.
I want you to fill your hands with mud, like a blessing.

Mary Oliver

Monday, November 19, 2012

after snyder

prairie of             sea    


dog in grass
          dried yellow weed

       
         winter wool
steel  cloud

Friday, November 9, 2012

On Having a Seizure: Part 2

Last night I dreamt of the wave. It was a tall tombstone of dark water.  It came up quickly on us at the faded beach in our red frilly bathing-suits and umbrellas. It hung over us like a skyscraper in an avalanche. I ducked my head under my little pale arms and didn't move. Everyone else was running, their towels flying behind them like colored tails.  I took a deep breath and froze. The wave turned into sheets of wind and mist and blew over me like rays of gray marble light.

When the swell rose again, I ran. I didn't believe in double miracles; I knew this one would come down like cement on a tenderized body. I ran as fast as I could up the moving sandy hill. When I looked back from high ground, I knew I had made it to safety. I saw the crest of the wave curl into itself and I said a terrified prayer.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

On Having a Seizure: part 1



It’s like turning around to the erection of tidal wave. Your back was turned for a moment and now that your facing this monster, there is no time to run. Of course there is no surviving.

First the brain is flooded with hot syrup, and immediately you can feel the heavy slug spread over the rubber. And the brain, like a child drowning under the blue wing of rabid ocean, sparks and screams to grab on to its little life.

The brain becomes a body trying to wrestle itself out of a shark’s mouth, it becomes the arrows of terrified fingers, and the wild kites of elbow and knee. So it jerks, it jerks to break free. Again and again in the same direction the brain bangs on the door of the giant molasses wave. The old splintered house is being flooded but the bedroom door is stuck, and so the knees and elbows and eyes and lips of the brain jerk together like a mob of men to break free. It has to break free.

And then every muscle becomes that child behind the locked door, and every muscle is also the mother outside on the street screaming for someone to save her baby. Every muscle is mother and child together. And every muscle screams. The eyeball and in the hair and down the legs and through the fingers heave and writhe in saving this child.  Until the entire body is a scream for the last red glares of hope, a scream for life slipping down like a feather off a table.


The child dies under the ocean, under the floor.









*
When you wake up you are a soaking dog. Stinky and moldy and slick. Every joint is trembling with the storm. What a lonely wet dog you are.