this time

for a long time tragedy was wrapped up in the dehydrated skin of my childhood
as all children who shed their first bag of skin I thought it was forever
I'd have to be naked

as I get older things get easier
again; a returning
even the hard is easier
I am still terrified (so terrified, each strand of my fur has grown a spine)
but i am not terrified of terror anymore

I know there is a skin underneath this one:
hanging on by a corner like a baby tooth

somehow I know that the alchemy
of returning to a place where I know who i am
I know how to rest; a place disappeared
is possible

somehow I know I will grow back the feet
that stood without worry or doubt
I know I will grow back the hands that held paint brushes, cupped bath water
except this time I know where home is